To The New Year

Wow... a bust to the end of 2006 and a massive disappointment to start 2007. It's hard trying to start the new year with a positive attitude when it seems like everything just wants to shit on me. The surprising thing is, I haven't quite hit rock-bottom yet. It's probably not too far away... maybe that will be my gift to myself in 2007... hitting rock-bottom... starting my own Fight Club... blowing up the house... and saying 'Fuck It' to the world. Talk about tempting, eh?

New Year's Eve didn't really work out to any which sort of scenario... nor was there any one truly planned. There was the small idea that Krista and I would go get ourselves mashed in a late-night party, but she found something just a little bit better, in a friend's house party that she would go to right after work. I was invited to go with her, but that kind of made me feel a little uncomfortable... just wasn't cool with the idea. I didn't go to the Yardhouse at all either... I couldn't rustle up anyone to take a ticket with me and go have dinner and some drinks. So that didn't happen either. What I did end up doing... as did Benny... we both thought we would step over to Jeff & Jay's place for a couple drinks and then go off to our separate functions elsewhere. Nope... we got caught there for the entire night. If there was any bonus to it... it didn't cost much. Actually it barely cost me anything as I won the poker game we played and snaked $30 out of those chumps. It was still a shitty-ass night as at best, there was only 8 of us... and only Jeff was gettin' any, 'cuz his new girlfriend Janine was around. It was another disappointing outing with Jeff... which does always seem to be a common thread for all that are around him. By about 4:15am... I had enough. I had stopped drinking fairly early, 'cuz I had no intention of getting too drunk... then getting too bored... then doing something too stupid. So, I waited around... got myself together and then took off. It was much nicer sleeping in my own bed, in my own PJ's and not on a couch.

January 1... the new year officially starts when I get up. Nothing happened on the ol' day off. Chris and I lazied around for quite a bit and that was just about it. Went to a couple shops and malls to kill time and that was just as exciting as it got.

Back to work on January 2... but there was the hockey game that night. Canucks and Flames. Barb and I were to go and have a good time... spend the one time in the month together... and I was brickin' it a bit. I don't know why. It could have been the desperation of wanting to know if it was going to go anywhere. I had gone home early to get some banking done... I had left my bank card at a machine in the core a few days before and needed a new one. Went down to the bank in Kensington, as I needed more ID than I had with me at work... and did that. When I got home, I hung out with Chris waiting for Barb to show up around 5pm. I got a call from her at around 4:30pm seeing if I didn't mind that she didn't show up 'til 6pm... I didn't really think much of it. Well... guess what?!? She didn't even show up at 6pm. I waited around 'til 6:30pm before I gave the OK to Chris to come with me. Her phone wasn't even available to get a hold of her... I could have left a message, but I was just in too much shock. I really tried my best to not let it get the best of me... and for the most part I did a good job. The Canucks won a tight one 3-2 and if they lost, I think I would have completely broke down. I'm sure I was about that close. Afterwards, Chris and I went to the Yardhouse... and before I knew it was all over, Jeremy and I were sitting there at 3am. After that, I went home, packed up my shit and came to the office for a nap.

That was my night there. Fucked up, eh? I have yet to hear from her at all and I'm kinda debating in my head whether or not to say something. I haven't yet either... but I don't know what's going on. I'm just so perplexed. It all just came down at the worst time ever... and well, it's back to the drawing board for me.