Conflict of Doctrines

If I was ever to think of my one true conflict in life, I think I have found it tonight. I have just realised that I train my mind in two doctrines of thought. The 'understanding of each other as people' and 'progress at any cost.' Both doctrines of thought field merits of substantial being, but society today would never let them co-exist. A true sadness enthralls me when it all pieces together. Enough so, that depression and anger set in sometimes and the lines truly get blurred.

I don't really surprise myself when I come to think that 'progress at any cost' wins my battle of doctrines, because it would be so much easier to understand people when progress ensues. I mean, if we were to rely on progress... the weak would be abolished from the strong... diseases which are kept going by not quarantining the sick remain (ie. AIDS)... and letting self-righteous rights be the end all of our civilization.

Chaos is what created our world before civilization made a mockery of it all, but the necesary chaos could very well be embraced when it all means something to each other. We have done ourselves some serious undue deeds by thinking too much. How did we get so high-and-mighty on the human race? I mean, yes we're humans... but wow... isn't that a tad small-minded in the big picture? The big picture extends past our atmosphere, people. Sacrifice and letting go should be a natural part of what we do here on Earth. But no... we must keep sacred even the lesser points of humanity.

Humanity is not great. It's terrible. Why must we embrace humanity when it is the thing that is holding something even greater from coming forth? If there was a God, I would like to think that humanity was only a stepping stone to greatness... a stepping stone to comething achievable on Earth, rather than a mystical place like Heaven. Rights and laws have destroyed our way of living... and by living, I mean freedom. There is no great secret to humanity... it's a way to move forward and join the great existance that lies beyond our little planet.

Our planet is something insignificant in the long run of what time signifies... we can preserve our planet with progress. But no... humanity's sense of greed and expansion as a virus (a la the Matrix explanation) is not far off of where we're going as a whole. Progress to me means that we can power our way of life with something that is economically viable and environmentally stable. But it takes more than our Governments. It takes more than other people asking people what they should do and going behind their backs and doing something completely underhanded for personal profit.

Where's the freedom in all of this? It doesn't exist in the master plan of our higher powers. Freedom, the illusion of the masses, the last great hope of every living breath... it doesn't exist any more. There is no freedom fighter any more. I support the military actions of our countries here in the West, but it isn't for freedom. Freedom disappeared in the first wars of the new civilizations. World War I and II destroyed our freedoms before the soldiers got a chance to fight for it. Taxes and laws were imposed upon a weak set of people in a daunting time.

I don't believe in freedom anymore. I can believe in safety and longevity... but not freedom. If freedom was still around, I wouldn't belive in safety in longevity. Strange, isn't it? But I'd rather be free with my own wit to guide me, then safe with the guided hand of some electoral body that I may or may not have voted for.

I guess I consider myself somewhat of an Anarchist to some degree. Anarchy doesn't have to come with the cost of violence. I'm not a small-minded Anarchist that is hell-bent on changing the way of life through violence. An Anarchist uprising has occured in the Middle East (of sorts) and look where that's gone. As much as I support troops fighting against the terror cells that could harm the Western way of life, that I so graciously criticize, I must also believe that I can understand the difference of way of life there to what it is here. There in lies the great conflict... as a microcosm in the world and as a whole in current world events.