Late NIght Buzzin'

Just after 11pm... my head is just goin' at full blast. I think it was all the Pepsi I had with dinner. D'oh. I might not be able to sleep for a little while, so I thought I would turn the ol' laptop on again and give the Tales some more hell.

Don't really know what to go on here, but I might just type away again and see where it goes. Plus, Benson is on the line (MSN), so I'll probably go a little back and forth.

I guess there really isn't any denying that there is girls stuck in the ol' melon. I guess with a sober conscious tonight, it allows me to reflect on things that have gone on in the last little while and trying to pick up the nuances and signals, thinking of what I may have missed, what I may have misconstrued and I think to myself... this really sucks.

I'm really growing into this place where I don't want to do any of the work... 'cuz 999 times out of a 1,000, I'm pretty much wrong. Being shot down in a bar or a club is one thing, but when you try and build a rapport with some people and think to yourself, 'is this a sign?'... not really knowing you're completely out of your mind... and then ruining it all by giving some half-assed attempt in fear that a full-ass attempt would just make you look like an ass and a no-ass attempt would lead to regrets... unless you're really drunk and you just sleep it off.

I like to think of myself as an approachable, nice guy who is very polite and is fairly honest... I don't think I'm completely honest sometimes, but that's another debate for another time. I'm honest when it counts... and that's what I'll stick to. This whole signal game really shouldn't be an issue... I don't really want it to be, but there's the hump, right? Can't always get what you want. I've been up front with some girls before... but they probably weren't the right ones to be up front with. Then I've been coy and played the signal game... then I just get drunk and knock down that house of cards. And you think I'm gonna stop drinkin' any time soon?? Ha! Well, I could if I definitely had to... but I don't at the moment, so that logic rules. Just once, it'd be really nice to have a girl ask what I was doing sometime... and I'm probably not the only one who thinks this either. Which is fine... out of 9 billion people, this isn't exactly "unique".

Now, I don't know... I've got patience coming out of my ying-yang at the moment. It's here in spades. Shit... I've got a waaaaaaay better record of "not having relations" in the lifetime of the Tales than Bill Clinton did in his terms in office. Boo yah! Oh shit... that's not good. Nevertheless... patience... I got it. Sure I run out from time to time, make stupid mistakes... most of us do. The opposite sex (or same for some) is an evil tempting tidbit of life we can't seem to shake. I know I can't. But the time'll come for me to screw up yet again... and then a year after that, another screw up... but all told... one of these years will be mine. Maybe. No promises.

Hmmmm... that feels a bit better. All this darkness in my room is starting to knock me out as well. And it only took 20 minutes to get here. Sweetness. The alarm is set for the morning... and I think I might check out of here. It's been a little bit of a reprieve on the ol' noggin' tonight. A few thoughts for the Tales never hurts.